Su and Nancy Day Two

She said/She said

Day Two

SU: I just knew I was being punished for having too much fun. After about two and a half hours of sleep, it was time for me to get up and get ready to head out to the pier where the Victoria Clipper was awaiting us. Soooo not pretty. I was still hungry and very dehydrated. I don’t think Nancy and I said more than a handful of words to each other as we got ready to head out. Mostly we grunted and pointed.

NANCY: What Su seems to have forgotten is that I think she had about 45 minutes of sleep total. Somebody was worried we wouldn’t wake up on time, so even as drunk as she was she couldn’t sleep because she was taking care of us. That girl is an angel! Oh, and grunting and pointing is my main form of communication before noon most of the time anyway, it is always so nice to communicate in my native language.

SU: We had to check in at the pier at 6:30. Do people really get up that early? On the drive to the pier, Nancy was doing her best to try to make me puke by constantly applying the breaks repeatedly or surging ahead without any warning. So not good for my vulnerable constitution. We made it to the pier on time with absolutely no hurling. Woo hoo! We picked up our tickets at the pier and went into a holding room to wait for our boarding number to be called.
NANCY: All I have to say in my defense is it was 6:15 in the morning and perhaps I was still a tiny bit tipsy, in a hilly city I don’t drive in. I think it is lucky we found the pier without falling in the water.

SU: I would like to take a moment to talk to you folks about an important life lesson that I learned while preparing to board our clipper. The lesson is – Nancy cannot be trusted to do the right thing. She will do anything to get what she wants, leaving in her wake nothing but anguish and misery. Bet ya’ll didn’t know that about our sweet little Nancy.

NANCY: Who me? (Picture fluttering eyelashes and a sweet sweet smile).

SU: Let me explain. Our boarding number was #1. When our number was called, Nancy jumped up and started pushing her way to the front of the line. Thank goodness the elderly lady she knocked over wasn’t seriously injured. Nancy’s only comment was, “Get a better walker next time, crypt keeper hag.” All around me I could hear people grunting from pain as Nancy elbowed them aside.

NANCY: I am happy to wait my turn, but if I am boarding first get out of my way! I only warned the woman to get a better walker after Su kicked the old woman while she was down while laughing with just a touch of hysteria. I guess she needs more than 45 minutes of sleep to be the sweet Su we know and love.

SU: What Nancy didn’t know, was that everyone’s boarding number was #1. So she was basically cutting in front of people who were legitimately waiting to board. Did she once try to apologize? No. Did she suggest we should go to the back of the line? No. Did she try to help any of the people she injured? No. Instead, she said, “You snooze, you lose.” I was actually okay with that, but I had to draw the line when she turned around and yelled at the people waiting behind us, “Kiss my grits, suckaaas!” I was mortified. Didn’t she realize we would be stuck on a ferry with these people for three hours? I didn’t want to be fish bait, so I turned around and hollered, “I’m so sorry. They just let her out of the loony bin yesterday.”

NANCY: Truth, I did feel a little guilty after I realized I had cut in front of all those people (but if they really wanted to be in front they should have fought more!) but by the time I realized what I had done it would have made a bigger mess to turn around and go back to the rear of the line. It was just meant to be.

SU: I was relieved when we finally boarded. We fought to get window seats on the boat. I’m not sure why since we knew we’d be sleeping off our hangovers. We were so hungry and thirsty, we immediately went to the concession desk to get our free continental breakfast. It was pooptacular. However, we were so hungry, we choked down as much of the stuff as possible. We’re in the clear, I thought to myself. Not so. While still docked at the pier, the ferry started to sway. My stomach lurched, and I had to close my eyes to battle the waves of dizziness that threatened to overrule my “no hurling” policy.

NANCY: I think Su and I had a little too high of expectations for our free continental breakfast. I was thinking a lovely buffet, maybe some bacon or sausage. We got boxes of squishy bagels (although half of that bagel sopped up a bunch of alcohol in my tummy), sliced apples, yogurt, and assorted other pre-packaged items.

SU: I looked over at Nancy. She wasn’t doing much better. I just started laughing. I told Nancy we were dumb and dumber. Who the hell drinks like a fish when they know they have to be on a boat at the crack of dawn the next day? We do!! The first five to ten minutes on the ferry were absolute misery, but once we got moving, we both felt fine.

NANCY: Everybody kept asking me if I had ever been seasick before when I told them about our great plans to stay out drinking all night and then take the clipper to Victoria. I happily chirped no, but the joke was on me! Imagine being hung over while you bounce up and down and back and forth with jolting jerks… and all that while having no coffee! Sheer torture!

SU: I was curious about our vacation package since Nancy hadn’t sent me any information at all about our trip. Nancy told me we were staying at the Delta Victoria Hotel, but when she booked our package, she put us in the Queen Victoria Hotel. Now, I was in charge of our itinerary once we got to Victoria, so I had planned our “excursions” around the Delta instead of the Queen Victoria. That wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that she booked us into a single instead of a double! I need extra space when I’m gorging!!!

NANCY: I am still not sure how this happened. I booked the hotel I meant to, the same one that I was looking at when Su and I were talking over the phone. I am going to take the responsibility for this one though because come on, you all know me LOL. I had to book a single bed though, there were not many reasonably price hotels left because somebody who’s name starts with N put off making the reservations til just a little late.

SU: When I gently confronted Nancy about our f’d up reservations, she said I heard her wrong about the hotel. I didn’t. When I asked her why she put us in a single, she said she figured the couch was good enough for me. No need to waste money on a double. Thank goodness I was too hung over to really care.

NANCY: Can you imagine the fright I had being “gently” confronted by a hung over Su who had just found out the itinerary she spent days working on is totally backwards because someone told her the wrong hotel and then tells her they had to share a bed? I am still having nightmares and trouble sleeping from that episode.

SU: We slept most of the way to Victoria. By the time we got there, the sun was shining and there was hardly a cloud in the sky. All we had to do was collect our luggage and get through customs. I have to tell you, every time I’ve been through customs, it’s been a total breeze. I had no idea Nancy had customs anxiety. Every time our customs agent would ask Nancy a question, she’d freeze up.

NANCY: That was the most beautiful picture window I have ever slept next to! Every time the captain would come on the loudspeaker I would rise to consciousness to see if there were whales but (luckily) there were none so there was no need to rouse myself to look.

SU: She couldn’t remember the name of our hotel, what city we were staying in, or how long we were going to be there. I was so distracted by the GORGEOUS customs agents to our left, I wasn’t much help. These boys had dark hair and blue eyes. They looked like they could model for International Male magazine. I knew I was just going to love it here!! Thank goodness they let us through, even though Nancy was acting like a paranoid druggy.

NANCY: I can't help myself, going through customs always makes me freeze up. And really the scary looking lady I got was asking stupid questions, where were we going… well um we just took the clipper to VICTORIA, where could we be going? I thought it was a trick question. And let's be honest, I was still traumatized from the “gentle” confrontation about the little hotel mix up so how was I supposed to remember where we were staying? I really am surprised they let me in without a strip search because every time she asked me a question I had to look at Su for the answer.

SU: We were going to take a taxi to the hotel, but decided to hoof it instead. A nice lady at the taxi stand hooked us up with some awesome maps and directions to our new diggs. Once we made it to the hotel, we were pleasantly surprised by how nice it was. The people there were soooooo polite and helpful!!!

NANCY: The walk to the hotel was lovely, I loved giving Su a tour of the city that I had only been to once… for example when I pointed out the beautiful building that was the Empress Hotel… that was actually the City Hall. Whoops!

SU: We ran into the concierge/driver in the lobby. He was a dark haired cutie named Thomas. I think he was 17 years old or so. He said he could make reservations for us and drive us around town if we needed. The front desk people rocked. They were able to switch us to a double room that was already cleaned, so we were able to get settled in right away.

NANCY: Thomas was great! We really saved him from an afternoon of boredom by having him make us dinner reservations and toting us all over town.
SU: The room was lovely. We had a private balcony and a nice bathroom. We quickly freshened up and went downstairs to track down Thomas. I was RAHVENOUS. Thomas drove us to Chinatown where our culinary adventures began. We walked to the sushi place I wanted to try, but it didn’t open for another thirty minutes. Time is money, so we went to Don Mee for some dim sum. I was so proud of our Nancy for trying everything. We had so much food we started giving it away to other people seated around us. We boxed up everything that was left and “donated” it to whoever was residing in the particular doorway we left our food at.

NANCY: Su has introduced me to a whole new world! A world where you sit at a table and they bring the food to you in carts… and the food just keeps coming… and coming. My favorite item was the baked tapioca pudding, when I need to go to a happy place that is what I think of from now on. I tried one of Su’s favorite items, a fried turnip patty (or something close to that) and I have to say after my second bite, it is an acquired taste! I either have to go back soon or find a dim sum place here. To recap, carts of warm food, delivered directly to your table that just keep coming! Yum!
SU: Then off we went to sushi. I was soooooo full, but sometimes you just have to power through. Nancy and I shared three handrolls, and I had a piece of hamachi and something else. I can’t remember because I was suffering from a food coma at the time! Nancy will have to fill you in on the details of our rolls. The sushi was quite good. Too bad we were too full to eat anymore!
NANCY: I did not realize the true extent of Su’s suffering until later in the evening when I hit the food wall. She was a trouper and ate everything at the sushi place. The hand rolls were a California roll (and it had crab with a C, have you ever had a California roll with real crab?), a spicy tuna roll, and I think a spider roll. You know they had to be delicious if we were both full from dim sum and it still tasted divine.

SU: We decided to wander through Chinatown and a few of the squares to walk off our lunches. We found Fan Tan alley, the narrowest street in Canada. I decided we needed a picture. We had to be quick about it because people kept coming in and out of the alley, and I wanted to climb up the wall a little bit. Nancy took a quick pic of me, then it was her turn to climb the walls. Hmmm…Let’s just say she’s no Spiderwoman, but she sure gave it her best shot!!
NANCY: Well my feet might have been on the ground but my friends will agree that my head is always in the clouds.
SU: We wandered around a square a bit until Nancy found some ice cream. Nancy had only had a few licks of her ice cream when she spotted a place selling gelato as we were making our way to another square. She decided she wanted gelato more than she wanted ice cream so she ditched her ice cream. Big mistake. Once she walked into to gelato shop, she found out it was almost five dollars for a scoop and felt that that was WAY too much to pay, even for gelato. So ice cream and gelato-less, we walked to the second square and then wandered onto the main street. I suddenly remembered I needed boots!!

NANCY: Really, five dollars for one scoop of gelato? It is truly one of my favorite things but I had seen lots of gelato places so I was hopeful to find a better priced place later, sigh… it was not to be so I was gelato and icecreamless for this leg of our trip.

SU: Nancy is the best when it comes to taking care of her friends. She asked scores of people for recommendations on where to go to buy relatively inexpensive shoes. We wound up going to the Shoe Warehouse in a downtown Victoria mall. I bought a cute pair of boots and Nancy bought some chic sunglasses.

NANCY: The lady at the purse store that I asked for help was a hoot. When she asked our price range was 50 dollars she said perhaps that is why my friends previous boots had broken was because she had bought cheap boots in the first place and proceeded to recommend many very expensive places. (In Su’s defense her broken boots were Nine West and not cheap!) Really who wants to spend a ton of money on boots you have to buy until you find a new pair you really want?

SU: Nancy’s got this huge bear fetish so we had to take some pictures with a couple of huge brown bears. One was wearing a sign hocking his wares, and the other was dressed in a Mounties costume. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to stop since I’ve got a pig fetish myself.
NANCY: It is not a bear fetish – first of all I think they are badgers, and second of all I will pose with any large stuffed animal hocking wears outside of a store, I can't help myself. Besides, look how cute we are!
SU: We finally wandered back to the hotel and collapsed. Jon and Kate Plus Eight was on the telly so we watched that for a little while. I was on the verge of sleep when Nancy jumped up off her bed and screamed, “Crap! I forgot to shave!” While she was tending to her bristly pits, legs, and nether regions, I took a nap. By the time we were ready to head out to tea, I was actually getting hungry again!

NANCY: And you wonder why Su didn’t want to share a bed with me? LOL.

SU: Thomas took us to the Fairmont Empress for high tea. At fifty dollars per person, I was going to eat the sh*t out of some finger sandwiches. Nancy was in charge of the sweets, of which there were plenty. The tea was a very special hundred-year-old blend. We started off with some fresh strawberries topped with Chantilly cream. Absolutely delightful. There were a variety of sandwiches - cucumber with light horseradish, smoked salmon pinwheels, mango and curried chicken, carrot and ginger, and a multigrain crostini topped with a mixed mushroom pate. Nancy’ll give you the details on the sweets and scones.
NANCY: I feel like we got our moneys worth out of that tea, the atmosphere was wonderful and all the food was delicious. My only regret was that I tied my belt to tight, I really feel like I could have done a better job with my assignment, the sweets! Note my good posture in the tea pictures, it is because I couldn’t slouch I was tied into the dress so tight. The scones were cute petite things. I have to say I don’t normally like scones but these came with a cute little jar of strawberry jelly and clotted cream (think whipped cream). I ate the crap out of those little guys. There were yummy lemon tarts with a strawberry on top, a black and white checkered cake, a confection of chocolate mouse in a chocolate cup, and a sugar cookie with chocolate on half.
SU: We took a cab back to the Queen Victoria to change our clothes and rest a bit before leaving for Nautical Nellies for dinner. Felt good to get out of our nice dresses. After a brief respite, we were ready to continue on our culinary adventure. We decided to walk to Nautical Nellies to work off our high tea.

NANCY: As we left for Nautical Nellies I realized that this was the third wardrobe change of the day. Every time we saw our sweet Thomas we had on new outfits, that tickled me. Thank goodness for the walk because I had hit food coma and was not sure one more thing could fit in me, even without that tight belt. Well until I started looking at the plates on the way to our table…

SU: Nellies turned out to be a fabulous restaurant. Nancy and I ordered these 22oz. fruity drinks. She had one with tequila in it, and I had one with tons of rum. Dinner was amazing. I had steak and scallops. The steak was cooked perfectly and the scallops were scrumptious. Nancy ordered the bacon-wrapped stuffed chicken. It was really tasty too.
NANCY: I was so full I could barely breath… but Su says lets order these drinks that are bigger than our heads and I was all in baby! My chicken was very good but if I had ordered the steak I would have licked my plate, it was divine!
SU: We decided to walk to our next destination – Prism, Victoria’s only gay bar! We were supposed to go there for a drag show at 11pm, but we were about an hour early. The place was deserted, so we decided to go to the last restaurant on our schedule for our final meal instead. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find it. Probably because I got the address wrong. I’m sure the restaurant didn’t just up and disappear. I was disappointed we couldn’t find the place and relieved at the same time. Disappointed because I wanted to try some new things, relieved because I was so full I thought I was going to burst.

NANCY: What Su seems to have forgotten is that the club was not in the best area of town either. I know I lead a sheltered life but I have never seen as many homeless people in one place before. They left us alone but it is a little daunting wondering around a strange town on dark unfamiliar streets with all those men watching you.

SU: Neither one of us felt like waiting around for the drag show, so we decided to walk back to the hotel. The sea gulls went crazy that night. There was bird shi*t falling all around us like hail. They were soooo noisy, like screeching poop bombers. We saw a little British sweet shop, and went in for some gelato. Didn’t you know the Brits are famous for their delicious gelato? I got green tea, and I don’t remember what Nancy got. All I know is that it was pretty gross and very expensive. Six whole bucks for icky gelato.
NANCY: Yeah! Instead of paying 5 dollars for gelato I paid six dollars for crappy gelato. Bad karma I guess. I had black forest and mango. I had two bites of the black forest and one of the mango, it was so bad I couldn’t eat any more (well except for a bite of Su’s green tea).

SU: We made it back to the room around 11pm, and I was actually okay with that since I didn’t want a repeat of the night before. I got some ice and a diet coke and was perfectly content! I was totally exhausted and was in desperate need of some beauty sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day!

NANCY: I am fairly certain I was a zombie at this point. Su was worried the TV was bothering me when I let out a loud sigh, but it was because I was so happy to be snuggled in bed about ten seconds from a dreamless refreshing sleep. I needed all my energy for tomorrow!

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About NancyB

I love to eat and sleep. One thing is more fun to blog about than the other. In between eating and sleeping I love to travel, spend time with my family and talk about myself. :)